BSB 19 years.

Honestly, I am not much of keeping blogs and putting down my feelings but with it being the Backstreet boys 19th anniversary, I thought I would write down just what they mean to me. Truth is unless your close to me, you probably have no idea how important the guys are to me and what the have truly done for me.

It was the summer of 1997, I had graduated middle school and was over at a friends house watching the box music network when QPG game on the television, it was then and there not I became a fan and have not turned back. I didn't know on that day what an impact they would have on my life not in a bad way but in the most amazing way.

As summer turned to fall, high school started for me and with that started the bullying. It was about my height, my weight and my love for Backstreet Boys. I would come home and have family get on me for my weight. The only thing that got me through that was the Backstreet Boys, they became my sanction and the one thing that could actually make me feel better.

In 1999, I was in Las Vegas for Backstreet Boys concert when I got the chance to go to the fan conference and thank the boys for everything they did for me.

Transcript: Nick: You wanna ask a question, miss? (coaxing) Go ahead…

Fan: (in a slightly quivering voice, emotional) My name is Brittany and I came all the way from New Jersey. Um, I've wanted to say this for a long time. Because of you I didn't kill myself. Um, I'm a junior in high school right now, but freshman year, I had a lot of problems. Um, I was sexually harassed and frightened and called everything you can think of and it hurt a real lot. But your music inspired me to keep on living and with you, I made a lot more friends. Um, it helped me so much and I'm so happy you guys came out and I have a lot of friends because of your music and every day, I'm happy because I can sit there and put on my CD player and listen to you and even my chemistry teacher is going to let me listen to you in chemistry because he knew it would make me happy and I can't do without it in school and because of you, in my locker I have a photo with me everywhere I go because I can't get through a day without seeing you because I get so scared they hurt me so much. I want to thank you guys, because…

Brian: Tell them we said to leave you alone or we'll come and get them Slight laughter and applause from the audience

Howie: …or we'll come out after 'em

Nick: And another important thing also is that this-this is the type of reason why we love to do what we do…to help people Audience applauds

Fan: Thank you guys so much

Kevin: You're very welcome. God bless you

This transcript was printed out and placed in my locker. It was what got me through the rest of high school. Honestly Brian and Howie especially have no idea how much they helped me that day, to show that people care.

It was there music that has kept me going and keeping me sane over the last 15 years. There is no amount of words that will show my thank you to them for their music. Last year when I was unemployed their music was what got me through it yet again. It kept me sane when all I did is want to crawl up and be miserable because unemployement sucks.

When Oprah was taking stories on why people should meet BSB I wrote this:

Bullying and suicide seem to be something that is talked about recently but when I was in high school from 1997-2001, I was bullied and picked on by my classmates and then I would go home to have my family get on me about being fat. I felt like I had no one there for me at the time because I could never do anything right and I felt like a failure to my parents because I was fat and a loser in school. There were so many days I wanted to climb into the shower and slit my wrist because I could no longer take the pain and hurt anymore. There is only two things that got me through it the Backstreet Boys music and my cousins Ashley and Cortney who I owe the Backstreet Boys for being close to.

Each day I would go home from school and lock myself in my room listening to the Backstreet Boys CD’s. Their song Roll with it from their European Backstreet boys CD was the song that made the biggest impact on my life because the lyrics spoke to me. It made me realize that as bad as things were at the moment that soon enough things would change and I would be okay.

At that point in my life, my life revolved around Backstreet Boys because their music was the only thing that made me feel happy. It was because of them that I became close with my younger cousins Cortney and Ashley, these girls became my best friends and we still are today. We would spend pretty much every weekend together watching Backstreet boys videos and listening to the Backstreet Boys music.

The Summer of 1998, we flew out to Las Vegas, NV and saw our first concert together which was also the Backstreet Boys first US summer tour. It was the tour that truly brought us closer together and from that tour up until I graduated high school we saw 12 concerts together. It was those concerts that gave us the bond we have to this day. It was those moments that kept me from killing my self and the reason why I am still alive today about to finish my masters degree in education.

While most people have had the chance to meet all the guys I have not, I have had the pleasure of meeting Nick, Howie and Kevin. I hope one day I can truly thank them for everything they have done for me not only being the music that kept me going especially the song roll with it but for giving me the most amazing memories and allowing me to meet so many amazing people who I can call friends.

So to the Backstreet boys who I doubt will ever see this, thank you for 19 Amazing years of music, smiles, memories and friends. You truly are one of a kind and I am so proud to call myself a BSB Fan. ♥